he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
