Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
