I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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