I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
