You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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