PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize
