so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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