I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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