I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
