You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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