I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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