Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
