I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
