And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You need Xanax blowdarts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
