I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
