I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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