I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
