He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
