come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
