I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
