Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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