So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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