So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
