This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
