you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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