This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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