You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
