I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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