One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
