I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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