You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
