i think my tv is drunk
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
