True but thats because hes a fetus.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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