You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
