that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
