your thong is hanging out like whoa
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
