Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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