Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
