When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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