You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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