We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
