I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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