He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
