i think my mom watched the whole time
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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