Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize