we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
