A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize