I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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