Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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