I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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