I'm jealous of your bromance
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
a search helicopter?!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
