The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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