Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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