a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
