She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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