omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
