No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
