well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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