You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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