i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
