moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
this is an emotional support booty call
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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