some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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