I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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