Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
