It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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